I have a tendency to treat independence as a goal. But this habit didn’t develop as a result of pride. Instead, it came from learning early that needing people came with risks. That connection often came with the possibility of being hurt. If you could handle things yourself, you couldn’t be let down by someone […]
I have a bad habit of waiting for significance to announce itself. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t sit down at the beginning of a day thinking I’ll only pay attention to the remarkable things. It’s more reflexive than that. More like a background filter that’s always running, quietly sorting moments into the ones […]
I wrote my way through one of the most depleting seasons of my life on sheer momentum and very little else. Fullness wasn’t even remotely on my radar. The deadlines didn’t move because my energy did. The responsibilities didn’t pause because my reserves were low. The people who needed me kept needing me, as people […]
There’s a perception making too many people believe that suffering is a sign you’re doing something wrong. That fullness in life looks like things working out. That abundance means the hard parts don’t last long or hurt too deeply. And then life happens. The diagnosis comes. The relationship doesn’t restore. The provision doesn’t arrive in […]
There have been seasons of my life when I had genuinely good things. Real gifts, real blessings, real evidence of God’s faithfulness all around me. Yet, I still didn’t feel full. And I felt like something was missing. I wasn’t exactly ungrateful or unaware of how much I had. Just quietly, persistently aware of a […]
The most abundant season of my life didn’t look like it from the outside. There was a stretch of a few years that, by most external measurements, would not have made anyone’s highlight reel. And it certainly didn’t resemble fullness as others see it. Resources were tight. Circumstances were uncertain. Several things I had been […]
I had a very specific picture in my head of what a full life would look like. Of when I’d know I was living in abundance. I’m not sure exactly when I formed it. Probably somewhere in the middle of expectations, plans, and quiet assumptions that build up over years without you really noticing. But […]
I once had a therapist tell me something about healing that I didn’t fully appreciate until about three years after she said it. She said: “The story you’re telling yourself about what happened may be the thing that needs healing more than what actually happened.” I nodded politely in the moment, filed it somewhere in […]
I am not a private processor by nature. When something breaks in me, in a relationship, or in a season of life, my first instinct is to talk it out with others. But after years of facing betrayal from several in a community I thought I could trust and being judged for who I naturally […]
I have a prayer I’ve been praying for years. Not decades, but long enough that there have been seasons where I’ve approached it with fresh faith and seasons where I’ve just gone through the motions. Long enough that I’ve had the quiet, uncomfortable thought more than once: What if this particular thing just isn’t going […]
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