The Surprising Way Gratitude and Unity Heal Us
Several years ago, I had a standoff with another mom in our homeschool co-op. Nothing dramatic. Just a scheduling disagreement that snowballed. Neither one of us viewed the situation with gratitude and unity in mind. She wanted Thursday mornings for her science block. I’d already requested that slot for my instruction time. Students would either have to choose her class or mine, or I’d have to restructure my day. Emails went back and forth. Each one got a little shorter. A little cooler.
By the first of August, we were polite. Painfully polite. Because I had requested the slot first, the director allowed me to keep it. She had to take the afternoon block instead. Neither one of us ever resolved it ourselves. We just accepted the schedule when we saw it. Afterward, we nodded across the parking lot and kept our distance.
I didn’t like it. But I liked being right, and I wasn’t ready to give that up.
When Gratitude and Unity Start With One Small Note
One morning, I sat at my kitchen counter with a hot cup of herbal tea and a stack of blank note cards. I wanted to write down ways to walk out gratitude and unity with others I knew. Her name popped into my head.
I tried to ignore it. But, it came back.
So, I grabbed a pen and did something that felt ridiculous. I wrote down what I actually appreciated about her. She stayed late every week to help the younger kids clean up. She’d baked cookies for the whole co-op when my son broke his arm. She taught my daughter to love chemistry. Three true things. I put them on a card, signed my name, and tucked it into her inbox on the sign-in table before I could talk myself out of it.
She never mentioned it. But the next Thursday, she walked up to me with an iced chai and said, “I think we need to talk.” We fixed our awkward silence in ten minutes.
Ten minutes. After two months of uncomfortable and forced distance.
Why Gratitude and Unity Belong Together
Paul wrote to the Colossians, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” (Colossians 3:15) Notice where he puts that last bit of instruction. Right next to peace. Right next to unity.
That’s no accident. It’s the “Total Unity” in God Rewards All Thoughts In Total Unity Directed Effectively. When I focus on what’s wrong with someone, I build walls. When I instead notice what’s right, I build a bridge. And gratitude gives me the lumber.
First Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. That includes the awkward ones. The ones with people we’d rather avoid. And gratitude doesn’t just change how I see someone. It changes how I act toward them too.
I didn’t win the argument that day. I didn’t need to. Instead, I got a friend back.
Join the Conversation
Who in your life feels distant right now? What’s one true thing you appreciate about them?
Leave a comment and share your story. Another reader might need to hear what you have to say.
Grab a journal or record a voice memo and finish this sentence: “One thing I genuinely appreciate about _____ is _____.” Then write them a note. Short is fine. Then, send or give it to them this week.
