Trust: When You Alone Can’t Fix a Heart
There are few things more humbling than realizing you can’t fix someone you love. We can organize, advise, pray, suggest, remind, encourage, and sometimes even plead. At the end of the day, thought, we can’t control another person’s heart. And that’s where trust gets personal.
The Day I Realized I Was Trying to Be the Holy Spirit
I remember standing in my kitchen one evening, phone still in my hand after a difficult conversation with someone close to me. The conversation hadn’t gone well. Again. Advice had been offered. Boundaries had been discussed. Emotions had escalated. Nothing changed.
After hanging up, I paced from the sink to the refrigerator and back again, mentally replaying the conversation. What else could I have said? What angle hadn’t I tried? What if I worded it differently next time?
And then the quiet conviction came: You are trying to manage something that isn’t yours to manage. I didn’t like that realization.
Because if I’m honest, trying to fix the situation made me feel useful. In control. Responsible. But underneath all of that effort was fear. Fear of what might happen if God didn’t intervene on my timeline.
Proverbs 3:5–6 rose to the surface again: Trust in the Lord with all your heart… lean not on your own understanding. My understanding said, “Push harder.” My Savior’s timing said, “Release.” To rely upon the Savior’s timing, I had to let go of my carefully crafted plan for someone else’s growth.
What It Means to Trust God With Other People
Relationships expose how much we depend on our own understanding. We believe we know the solution. We believe we see the issue clearly. And maybe we do. Partially. But we don’t see the full work God is doing behind the scenes.
To rely upon the Savior’s timing means accepting that transformation belongs to Him.
When we acknowledge God in relational tension, we stop trying to be the primary mover and instead become faithful participants. We pray without manipulating. We speak truth without forcing. We love without controlling outcomes.
That night in my kitchen, surrender didn’t feel dramatic. It felt quiet. I set my phone down, walked back to the sink, and prayed differently than I had before. Instead of asking God to fix the other person, I asked Him to guard my heart. To shape my response. To move in His time, not mine.
It didn’t solve the situation overnight. But it did change me.
Choosing Surrender in Relationships
Applying this kind of trust means asking yourself: Where am I over-functioning? Where am I carrying emotional responsibility that belongs to God?
To rely upon the Savior’s timing may look like:
- Stepping back from repeated arguments
- Praying more than you speak
- Releasing the need to see immediate change
- Trusting that God works even when you can’t see evidence
Trusting God with relationships doesn’t mean withdrawing love. It means surrendering control. And sometimes the greatest act of trust is letting God do what only He can do…in His time.
